And you thought I had went away. No such luck.
Went down to NYC and partied like a motherfucker. Got a number, could’ve gotten a makeout, and one girl was dangerously attracted to my wing. IT wasn’t bad, it wasn’t fabulous, but i was SO FUCKING KICKASS.
Details to emerge.
As part of my job, we interview women on their sexuality.
We just did another interview today, and I’d like to make a brief treatise on being warm and accepting to those who are around you. Brutal, assbreaking honesty can be found in most people — the trick is getting them to open up and spill it out.
How do you do this? There’re two ways.
The first is that YOU SHARE FIRST. You have to open yourself up and be emotionally vulnerable for them to actually share anything with you — else you’re that “weird motherfucker” who seems like you’re more interested in her body than her (or in the least, more interested in stalking her than not). By pressing too hard and too fast for honesty, you’re going to break any rapport you had before you started.
The second is that YOU NEVER COME DOWN HARD! I mean, ever. If they’re talking about how their secret fetish is raping sheep, and you think that they’re being honest about it, you never want to smack them down and tell them that your favorite hobby is tracking down sheepfuckers and bringing them to justice. Well, you might jokingly — you’d pro’lly be able to get away with it.
Beyond this, always keep open body language. You don’t want to tell her “tell me more!” when you’re not facing her — always look at her, or at least, near her. Eye contact isn’t necessary, but if you’re looking to come off as “that affable dude”, you’re going to need to at least keep your body facing her — that means that your belly button is facing her torso, not away.
Be yourself. If you aren’t too busy in your head analyzing everything, be your normal, quirky self. Let go and share who you can be, because THAT person she’d like to befriend. Not the persona, but the person.
Me, I spend more time pretending to be someone well-rounded than being someone well-rounded. Become who you actually are, and people will love you. Be a persona, and when you revert, you’ll find that nobody understand — or supports — this new you. At least, not without a lot of explaining.
Warm up to them motherfuckers, and let them in.
The greatest tragedies in your life are yet to be written.
Let’s let those words sink in for a moment, before continuing. They were specifically picked for tonality and dramatic value; they serve the purpose of “bringing home” the reality that there is always more that you can be doing.
But what if you let your fear dictate the actions you want to make? Then perhaps those words wouldn’t ever be actually spoken. Instead, they’d be more briefly-thought and then disregarded — you’re sticking within your comfort zone, and within that zone, there is a beautiful cocoon of no-risk.
People like basking within the riskless — it’s an opportune way to use the mundane to an advantage. For when you’re without risk, all mundane tasks further to expand the comfort which you feel. It’s a reinforcing comfort cycle, all psychologically engineered by YOURSELF to give a sense of well-being.
This can be thrown into evolutionary biology terms, and it seems trite: If you risked your ass to get food, there’s a good chance you’d not come back. The more risk you took, the greater chance you’d be eaten, killed, or worse. So, we’re hardwired to only take the risks that we need to take — ironic, as these days most risk can’t be met with great harm.
If you decide to stay inert, it’s comforting like cult philosophies. The insecurity that you see within normal, everyday life is overridden by the calm that you feel by staying where you are. It’s a tidy bank job, like you see in the movies: you can tell that something’s done, but you can’t seem to solve the mystery.
Can you really afford to stay inert?
The truth behind the matter is that my lack of posts has been self-imposed.
I’ve been pushed at work beyond any limits that I thought or knew I had, putting in 11 hour days for no pay (as I’m an intern, see). And it’s so completely worth it.
But that’s neither here nor there, here’s another tasty post.
My friend told this to me, and I believe him: routines are developed solely so that people without confidence can develop it. It’s akin to learning a fallback that you can resort to when nervous. MM is a system that’s written out so that you can follow it quickly, easily.
The reality behind this reasoning is that we’re afraid of the unknown, of the void. If all you need to build is confidence, how do you do so? How do you build momentum when you’re not started?
There are a variety of different ways, and these are all small steps designed to attack the root of the problem. As the problem is social confidence with the other gender, the best technique that I know is to play in an ultimate frisbee game. As you get older, you can resort to more suitable sports for your age; but the premise is the same. Go to a social event where the “in” is easy, and there’s no pressure to be social.
You’ll meet people there, and the soft friendships you make there can begin to permeate into other areas of your life. You never want to eat alone — you never want to go out alone, you always want to push the boundaries of what you know and thought to be possible.
Hope can be created if you think that you can achieve through short steps. I don’t think that this blog can be “great” immediately, but with enough posts, with enough friends, and with enough time, I can make it something that I’m proud to be a part of.
Keep the right mindset as you move forward, and keep the right ATTITUDE.
Rock on, soldiers.
Rock the fuck on.
